Monday, October 12, 2009

Temporary Change

Since I got back, everyone kept asking non-stop about our baby boy. I feel that because he’s my firstborn, the attention we both got was extra special. People would enthusiastically ask about how he’s doing, how he’s feeding, and his sleeping patterns among other things. But one of the most common raised questions was who looks after him now that I’m back to work.

After weighing the pros and cons, my husband and I decided that it’s best if he stays at home and take care of the baby while I work and earn for the family. I know it’s not the norm of society that the wife is the breadwinner and the husband is the stay at home parent but before you raise an eyebrow and judge about this reversal of roles, let me share with you why we opted for this choice.

The husband recently decided to leave his work, and he has a very good excuse why – the company he’s working for was showing signs of folding up and has been delayed in paying their salaries. As I write this, he still has 2 months outstanding pay which he is yet to receive. So instead of adding more expenses (gas, toll fees, time & effort) and not being compensated of what is due him, he decided to quit early on before the outstanding salaries piled higher. My friend at work who learned about our situation said that it was a wise decision for him to leave immediately because she has some friends around town who have not received their salaries for a year, and up to now, they are still waiting with much regret.

I admit that because of this screw up, our cash flow was affected along with our plans. We couldn’t hire a nanny, pay for her visa (which comes with a hefty price, by the way) and fly her to Dubai. So we were left with no other option but to have Ryan stay at home to take care of Dade while I went back to work. I just feel immensely blessed that my job is stable and that I am paid enough to cover our monthly expenses. We just have to sacrifice & cut back on a few things such as our weekly entertainment (dining out), and limit our shopping sprees - groceries included.

It’s a bit tough, but with faith, I’m sure we will get through this. It’s just temporary anyway. As soon as we get back from our holidays this December, we will proceed with our plans of hiring a nanny so Ryan can start looking for a new job. The start of the year is always the best time to try and find work as budgets have just been set, and additional manpower is usually included. We pray that everything works out by then.

In the light of my husband’s loss of job, we consider what had happened as a blessing in disguise because both of us have peace of mind that our son is left in good hands. No worries of dealing with insane, horrible nannies (for the time being) especially that Dade is just 2 months old. I can focus on my work worry-free, and I don’t have to deal with nanny issues especially in this part of the world where immediate help from family members is difficult to get.

So now our household is part of the statistics of a househusband and a full-time working Mom & wife. Apparently, there is a good percentage of such in UK, and even in the US especially after being hit by recession. I guess it’s because there are more jobs available for women, thus, we are more bankable. Talk about women empowerment! I am greatly touched by those people who choose to support us and admire the kind of set up that we are living right now instead of throwing judgments at us and looking down on our incapability to live according to the rules of society.

We have all that we need and want in life, and we are extremely grateful. It may be a different road that we are taking, but we are enjoying the trip and the scenery. We are not worried because God is doing the navigating.


gracita said...

hi gracie! i see nothing wrong with your current setup. ok nga since you have a peace of mind, atleast you know ryan is taking care of dade well...

goodluck with everything! :)

cheche said...

hi gracie! good decision. i can total relate. my brother there in dubai, 6 months walang salary. he found work already and they brought their case to court n with their previous employer. sana lng me mangyari.

it doesnt matter who earns in the family as long as everyone's happy. nd nmn kakulangan un in ryan's part. to thnk he's giving more p nga bec he's taking care of the LO.

take care. goodluck! cuddles to dade

Shelly said...

dade is one truly lucky and blessed kid to have you and the husbo as his parents.

all the best to your family! :)

d3nd3n said...

hi gracie!

blessing in disguise indeed! the peace of mind you'll have knowing that your hubby is looking after your son is priceless.

your decision is admirable and an example of what true partnership really is, despite "going against the norm". i wish both of you well. god bless.

PM said...

this kind of set up is pretty common nowadays. people shouldn't be surprised anymore. and dade is lucky to have his dad take care of him during the day, instead of a nanny.

gracious said...

I think it's a practical choice. Plus, as others have mentioned, you'll be assured that Dade is well taken cared of. I don't have kids yet, but I wouldn't be comfortable leaving a baby with a stranger :( Pano, kung mahulog/mauntog and di sabihin sa min. :(

Btw, I luv your back-to-work outfit. Four-inch stilletos!

Andrea said...

kuddos to the husband... aside from taking care of baby dade for sure mas lalong maprpractice ni Ryan ang kanyang cooking and baking skills. Just imagine, after work, you are not only excited to see baby dade but also craving a sumptuous meal prepared by the hubby!

Eper said...

Blessing in diguise talaga at least you don't have to leave Dade with a complete stranger. Good luck with the job hunting next year! :)

Joanne MV said...

Have faith sis! Every once in awhile we are being tested but that's part of life. The important thing is you and your hubby are together amidst the crisis ;)

Skylle said...

If that works better why not there's nothing wrong with it. Dictate of society lang yan...You both know what's better. Kami nga reverse roles din - I drive, Labs cooks...Kaya ok lang yan =)

Tinggay said...

i commend you guys for making the practical and most beneficial decision, though it may be uncommon nowadays. alam mo naman sa atin sa manila, people can still be really judgmental. what matters is the setup works for you both and that dade is well cared for. saludo ako sa inyo for taking this big step! and don't worry, God is good. He will provide :) tell your hubby - at least maaga niyang matuturuan si dade mag ps3! LOL :)

lleng said...

i adore you for handling the situation in a very positive way. kung iba yan baka inaway na nila asawa nila db?

like what you've said its only temporary..God has a reason for everything.and i do believe that He is only testing your faith and patience.

cheers sis!

Jacqui Co-Soriano said...

hi gracie,

sorry missed this post ... hugs girl, no worries. i am sure everything will turn out well.

all the best for little dade! :) proud of you and ryan!!

Mich said...

you're blessed to have such a hands-on Hubby :) For me, you made the right choice. Ako I would still leave my kids to my parents or in-laws or me or Hubby. If walang available, we won't go out anymore. I don't want to leave them to the Yayas lang. It's not that I don't trust them. Iba pa din talga :)