Tuesday, October 16, 2007

starting over

two weeks ago, my cousin Arnie happily turned another year older and invited a few people to join him celebrate his natal day. known for being quite a spontaneous person, he often arranges last-minute gatherings, and this occasion was clearly not his first attempt at stressing people with his late notice.

he phoned me hours before the unplanned party to invite me and hubby, and to make one request - he wanted a specific gift, and he wanted me to say yes to it. it would’ve been a lot easier had the gift been something inanimate, but what he had asked was one of the most unexpected things i’d hear him say…he had asked me to patch up with my estranged buddy C during his party.


as soon as the line went dead, my palms started to sweat and my mind raced in lightning speed with dozens of questions and thoughts. i literally didn’t know what to say or do since it’ll be the first time in 2 years that i’d be meeting her face-to-face. the thought of that long period of time sans contact kept playing on and on in my mind. but my pride got the better of me so i decided not to plan anything since i still didn’t wanna make the first move. i left everything in fate’s hands and trooped to my cousin’s flat with a tinge of trepidation, and at the same time utter curiosity as to how the evening will progress.


on my way to the party, memories of how my friendship with C fell apart began to subconsciously flash in my mind. what happened 2 years ago was like a nightmare that i’ve always wished i’d never have to recall. we had a solid 10 years of friendship before our relationship faltered...and just because we had bottled up feelings and frustrations over each other in the past, we allowed our friendship to go down the drain in just a snap of a finger, without the slightest thought of talking things through.

i lucidly remember how we were inseparable during college and how we kept the closeness rolling even after graduation. in all the years that we were in the best of terms, we patiently listened to one another’s worries & fears, mutually provided support in every career move we made, witnessed every heart break we faced, engrossed ourselves with meaningful conversations over coffee, and even excitedly giggled together like little kids as we boarded the plane bound to Dubai. yes, we were there for each other during those times, and weird as it may seem, the very moment i stepped inside the building where the party was being held, i unashamedly admitted to myself that i did miss her and her company.

she was the first person i saw when i entered the hall, but i acted as if i didn’t see her and headed straight to where my hubby and friends were. i could sense that everyone in the room was feeling tensed, and i could almost hear what their minds were thinking. it was one of the most awkward situations i’ve been into, and it sucked!

time ticked away while both of us pretended that tension wasn't building up inside the room. bessie Beth, bless her, took matters into her own hands and initiated the talk. she took my hand and led me to the fire escape where C and i used to have our daily talks. it was the very place where we laughed and cried and vented out all our rants and shared unabashedly how scared we were of the uncertain future when we first came here to Dubai.


as soon as the door was shut, i bravely confronted her with an encouraging look on my face. following my instincts to do the right thing, i gave her a warm, welcoming hug. i was tongue-tied when she apologized, and all i could say then was that i was sincerely glad the saga was finally over. my long lost friend was there, right in front of me, and you can just imagine what kind of relief it was when we stood there smiling as if nothing happened. for me, it was the perfect way to rekindle our friendship. in no less than an hour, we were chatting away like the way we used to, and shared the regret of missing out on a lot of things in the last couple of years that we weren't on speaking terms.

looking back, i realized how much time we’ve wasted when we stupidly allowed our selfishness to tear us apart. but i’ve always believed that things happen for a reason. we've grown and matured while we were apart, and realized the kind of mistakes we've done to hurt each other. yes, we got bumped and bruised, but thankfully we weren’t damaged enough not to believe in starting over and having faith that our friendship can still be restored.

1 comment:

flowerdrumsong said...

Gracie,

That's an awesome entry - and I have to say, bravo for taking the courage! :) God bless!